25 Reasons to Have Sex to My Bloody Valentine’s ‘Loveless’ Today, Its 25th Birthday

This was once sold on Society6.com. Swoon.
This was once sold on Society6.com. Swoon.

25 Reasons to Have Sex to My Bloody Valentine’s Loveless Today, Its 25th Birthday
By Jaime Lees
Fri, Nov 4, 2016

My Bloody Valentine’s quintessential shoegaze album, Loveless, was released 25 years ago today.

Many now-classic albums came out right around this time a quarter of a century ago, not the least of which was Nirvana’s Nevermind. (See also: U2’s Achtung Baby and A Tribe Called Quest’s The Low End Theory.) But Loveless stands out from the crowd on the merit of one huge distinction: It’s the greatest doin’ it album ever.

In honor of its 25th anniversary, we offer you this list of 25 reasons to bang to Loveless today.

01. Because it’s an entire generation’s version of putting on some Marvin Gaye.
Say you go on a date. You’re into that person but you’re not sure if they’re into you. Then at some point, one of you puts Loveless on the hi-fi. The introduction of Loveless relays one’s eagerness to mate faster than taking off one’s pants. At that point you can tell your genitals to just go ahead and get hyped because you’re about to enter the Bone Zone.

02. Because even if the sex is bad, the soundtrack will still be good.
Sometimes a sexual experience is just lame. Maybe you thought it was going to work out and it’s definitely not, the chemistry is all wrong. While you’re in bed and trying to figure out if you should call the whole thing off or if you should just pray that it gets better, you can at least let Loveless deliver you some Grade-A indie rock to listen to while you’re hating your whole life.

03. Because Loveless can make sweet sex hot or hot sex sweet.
It’s usually one or the other, right? Well, with the aide of Loveless you can easily switch the mood to whichever you desire. The overall sound of the album might be dreamy, but it’s still loud-as-hell rock & roll. You and your partner can pick up on whichever vibe from the album suits you or alternate vibes as you please.

04. Because good taste in music is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Some sounds and people associated with them just don’t work for your naughty bits. Like Parrotheads. Or Deadheads. Or Juggalos. When there’s so much to frown at out there, it’s extra rewarding when you find someone who shares your taste in tunes. And when that shared album is Loveless, it’s frequently a match made in the sexual shoegaze stars.

05. Because enthusiastic consent is sexy.
Sex is best when it’s done with honesty and enthusiasm. So go at it with gusto or not at all. Be bold and open to a shared, mutually-satisfying experience. Instead of trying to trick someone into letting you into their pants, try Loveless instead. The drums at the beginning of “Only Shallow” somehow magically open legs, I promise. You’ll both be happy.

06. Because you can get high on Loveless like a drug.
Poppers, pills, pot, ecstasy — there is no end to the list of substances that people might use to try to enhance a sexual experience, but music can have a similar effect on the brain. The powerful sound production on Loveless can change your perception of space, time, gravity and, like, all of creation. For real. Give it a try.

07. Because out of the many good sex albums, Loveless is best.
I know tons of folks who like to get down to Portishead. Maybe even a little Björk. Some in my generation prefer Nine Inch Nails, which I guess is understandable, but that wouldn’t do it for me. And nobody can deny the pull-your-clothes-off quality of classic soul music. But Loveless offers a certain headiness that is just freakin’ unbeatable for sexy times.

08. Because like Loveless, you’re worth it.
Loveless was famously labored over for years before it came out. It also took a rumored $500k to get the darn thing done. So maybe it takes you a long time to orgasm? Maybe you’re shy in bed? Who cares! It also took Loveless a long time to get comfortable and to… uh… get release. Let this album be your inspiration to treat yourself right. Don’t give up, you can get there.

09. Because it can keep you from being a total sleaze.
If you’re part of the generation who thinks that Loveless is the sexiest album ever and your potential banging partner has never heard of it, just drop the whole thing. He/She is too young for you and you are not their teacher. Let them go bang someone their own age to Maroon 5 or whatever the hell the kids are into these days, you creep.

10. Because it can help you out with dirty talk.
Your lover wants to hear some romantic words? Just look to the lyrics of Loveless. Well, some of them. There is a lot of confusion and insecurity in there, but there is also: “Soft as a pillow / touch her there.” “Tiptoe down / To the holy places.” “Slip your dress / Over your head.” “To lay under her, I want her there.” “Close my eyes / Feel me now.” Sigh.

11. Because it’s depressing as shit while still being beautiful.
Loveless is like the musical version of ruins photography. Everything might be falling apart, but gosh, isn’t it weirdly lovely? Many of these songs are so, so sad, but still oddly exhilarating — like sex with an ex or any number of other bad ideas. Just live it and feel lucky that you have a heart that can both soar and be crushed. It’s a privilege not afforded to all.

12. Because you can match your condoms to the album cover.
If you can’t protect your heart, at least protect your junk. STIs can be a real buzzkill. But with all of the recent advances in condom design, talking about protection can easily be made a part of the act. Whip out your Loveless-colored pink condom and ask your partner to swirl up on your body like those guitars. (Or say literally anything else, because that’s a terrible line.)

13. Because it can make your bed into a raft for two.
Maybe you’re getting down and you’re having a moment. You know, one of those times where the world drops away and the entire universe feels like it’s just you and your partner. (Or partners, we won’t judge.) The swaying, all-encompassing sound of Loveless can make it feel like you’re together out at sea, blissfully riding soft waves to “When You Sleep.”

14. Because you can use it to show your intentions.
If I showed up to somebody’s house and they showed me their Loveless-styled bed or if I clicked on their dating profile and it said they were into Loveless or if I got in their car and they looked me in the eyes and then put Loveless on the stereo or if they were like “Here, take a copy of my favorite album” and it was Loveless then I would think only one thing: They are DTF.

15. Because the American presidential election is in just a few days and we’re all going to die.
These things might actually be two separate facts, but they sure do feel connected right now. When Loveless came out, George H.W. Bush was president and well, those times were almost as scary as these. Many voters think that we’re screwed either way, so why not screw anyway? Election doomsday banging only comes around once every four years. Live it up.

16. Because you can synchronize your moves to the music.
With any full album that you know very well, it’s easy to imagine what song is coming up next based on the one you are currently hearing. That means you can choose to actively listen to the music and give yourself performance tips like, “Go down on her during the entirety of ‘To Here Knows When’ and she will be pleased.” Yes, she will.

17. Because in a world full of crap, you’ll always have Loveless.
Job got you down? Family problems? Car troubles? Terrible kids? Unpaid bills? Lost at the casino? Lost in the wilderness? Any number of bad things can throw off our little lives. We must take comfort where we can find it. Puppies, kittens, a warm cup of coffee, a starry night. And Loveless. It’s nice. Let it comfort and shelter you while you make a little love.

18. Because Brian Eno hasn’t yet made an ambient album specifically for intercourse.
He’s made gorgeous ambient albums for airports, for being on land and for freakin’ Thursday afternoons, but Mr. God of Sound hasn’t ventured in the business of bumpin’ uglies. What gives, Eno? The closest we have is Loveless, as it’s painstakingly produced and Eno-approved. Check out this mini-documentary where it mentions Eno’s love of “Soon.”

19. Because you can use the Loveless trick on multiple separate partners.
Don’t get caught up searching through your iTunes collection with your pants down. It’s a boner-killer when somebody holds up the fun times because they’re trying to choose the perfect accompanying music. Scroll straight to Loveless, friends. Your partner will think that you picked it just for them, when really it’s your go-to selection for whenever you’re acting as DJ BJ.

20. Because it’s a good soundtrack for anything, really.
Are you depressed? In love? Sleepy? Just waking up? Feeling lazy? Feeling energized? Hiding from the world? Blasting music in your car? Alone with your thoughts on the train? Surfing the web late at night? All of these situations are perfect for Loveless, that’s why it’s your best friend. Go ahead, have sex with your best friend. We won’t tell.

21. Because it will make a great story for your friends.
This works in the same way as Seinfeld’s famous “yada yada yada” as a conversational shortcut. Your friend says, “So, how did your date go last night?” You say, “Oh, you know. We went out to dinner and then to a bar and then we went to his house and he put on Loveless and I woke up with knots in my hair.”

22. Because it will never be ruined by a bad boyfriend or girlfriend.
Music frequently gets tangled up with our emotions. Certain albums often make you remember bummer times or mess with your head. But bang to Loveless in 2016 and this won’t happen. Why? Because if you currently listen to this album you’ve probably also been listening to it for the past 25 years, so it’s already associated with some other jerk from your past. Score!

23. Because you want to have sex with Kevin Shields.
It’s a bummer that it’s probably never going to happen. He has that super shy thing that makes you just want to dirty him up, but the chances of you getting to hook up with the God of Shoegaze are slim to none. So listen to Loveless instead. He thought of you, the listener, while he was making it, so you can think of him while you’re… making it. Totally works.

24. Because it’s great all the way through.
Some albums are 95% great but then there’s just that one song that you just can’t stand and you must skip past it every time. But Loveless wouldn’t do you like that. It might take you on a magical carpet ride to outer space and back, but would never interrupt your sexual flow. It’s perfect from beginning to end. Just like you.

25. Because, I mean, have you heard this thing? Dang.

link: Riverfront Times

My Bloody Valentine Releases New Album, MBV After 22 Years: Get It Here

My Bloody Valentine - MBV
“The band’s stellar 1991 LP, Loveless, has long been hailed by critics and fans as one of the best albums of the decade. It is the most famous to carry the shoegaze tag, but MBV’s sound was more than just dreamy loops and psychedelic swirls — the guitar-driven band also had a reputation for being the loudest live band, like, ever. My Bloody Valentine shows were often cited by experienced concert-goers as the loudest they’d ever endured — even besting Dinosaur Jr. Its projected volume has been described as “brutal,” “intolerable” and “unholy.”

Along with contemporaries Slowdive and The Jesus and Mary Chain, MBV helped to build and define the shoegaze genre — and then all but disappeared near its peak in the early 90’s. Over the years, Shields has repeatedly promised the release of new songs, but nothing has yet materialized (much to the dismay of fans).”

– Jaime Lees

see full article here

link: Riverfront Times

My Bloody Valentine Doesn’t Release New Album, Beleaguered Fans Slowly Lose Minds

[Written by RFT Music, Jaime Lees- contributor]
mbv

My Bloody Valentine Doesn’t Release New Album, Beleaguered Fans Slowly Lose Minds
By RFT Music
Fri., Feb. 1 2013 at 3:00 AM

Shoegaze legends My Bloody Valentine had fans on the edge of their seats all week in anticipation of the band’s first album in more than twenty years. Frontman Kevin Shields’ onstage remarks in London on Sunday hinted that the new material would be released this week — “might be out in two or three days” was the exact wording.

The band’s stellar 1991 LP, Loveless, has long been hailed by critics and fans as one of the best albums of the decade. It is the most famous to carry the shoegaze tag, but MBV’s sound was more than just dreamy loops and psychedelic swirls — the guitar-driven band also had a reputation for being the loudest live band, like, ever. My Bloody Valentine shows were often cited by experienced concert-goers as the loudest they’d ever endured — even besting Dinosaur Jr. Its projected volume has been described as “brutal,” “intolerable” and “unholy.”

Along with contemporaries Slowdive and The Jesus and Mary Chain, MBV helped to build and define the shoegaze genre — and then all but disappeared near its peak in the early 90’s. Over the years, Shields has repeatedly promised the release of new songs, but nothing has yet materialized (much to the dismay of fans).

…continued here

Bloody Knives

Bloody Knives
9 p.m. Friday, February 10. El Leñador, 3124 Cherokee Street.
By Jaime Lees

Bloody Knives is often presented as “industrial shoegaze,” but that description isn’t quite right. Shoegaze was built on shy, passive performances and “swirling guitars.” Bloody Knives ain’t got none of that. This is a long-haired rock band from Austin, Texas without a single six-string guitar. The three band members play drums, bass and synthesizer. This mixture creates a thick bliss: It’s a combination of pretty distortion, eight-bit glitch and melody, backed by heavy stoner rock thumping. Constant touring has spread the band’s reputation as a thunderous live act; check it out with local openers Bug Chaser, Tone Rodent and Trauma Harness.
Go If: You want your 1988 My Bloody Valentine to rock like 1992 Kyuss.

Why You Should Go See Yuck


Why You Should Go See Yuck On Tuesday
By Jaime Lees
Fri., Sep. 30 2011 at 3:57 PM

Yuck released one of the best albums of 2011. The London band’s self-titled debut encompasses everything great about ’90s indie rock all squished into one album. It contains melody, distortion and a tons of volume. Unfortunately, these distinctive qualities have earned Yuck a reputation in the music media as grunge revivalists. This label has divided the press, with authors either claiming that Yuck is recycled and derivative or ambassadors of the next alternative generation.

Either way, there’s no getting around it: Yuck sounds like ’90s rock — but only the best parts of really, really good ’90s rock. Shit, it’s not like the band is being constantly compared to Limp Bizkit or Matchbox 20 or even Bush. Yuck only gets compared to legendary, groundbreaking bands like friggin’ Teenage Fanclub and GD Dinosaur Jr and Sonic MFing Youth. It’s a compliment, really.

Still, the group’s sound extends beyond these comparisons. It also balances My Bloody Valentine-esque scorchers with a whole host of sweeter sounds, like that of Pavement or Neil Young or bits of the great C86 bands. These comparisons are especially impressive considering that all of the band members in Yuck are in their early 20s. They didn’t witness the rise and fall of alternative rock — they were still toddlers when Nevermind came out. Still, the kids in Yuck reference their indie forefathers with great maturity and skill.

Part of this competence comes from experience. Yuck’s two main songwriters, Daniel Blumberg and Max Bloom, have been in bands together since they were teenagers. A couple of years ago, Blumberg and Bloom quit the (relatively successful) Brit band Cajun Dance Party to form Yuck. With the addition of bass player Mariko Doi (of London via Hiroshima) and American drummer Jonny Rogoff, the lineup was complete. And the band wasted no time making their mark: it’s already played SXSW, recorded a Daytrotter session and toured with Times New Viking, Tame Impala and its heroes, Teenage Fanclub. Yuck is even scheduled to perform on the much anticipated Weezer cruise.

Despite a few disparaging reviews by out-of-touch rock critics, the band has been entirely embraced by audiences. They dig it. And it’s the fans who have pushed the band to the top of the indie underground. Yuck’s debut was released early this year on the righteous Fat Possum label and it’s been so well-received by the public that it’s being re-issued this month with six bonus tracks.

Check out Yuck for yourself this Tuesday at the Firebird with White Denim and Porcelain Raft.

  • Riverfront Times – link

Tennis System: Critic’s Pick


UPDATE: This show has been moved to the Firebird.

Tennis System
Sun., September 25, 8:00pm
Pig Slop Studios The Firebird
By Jaime Lees

Shoegaze is one of the few music genres where being a weak little pussy is actually sought after. Many shoegaze bands fall flat because of mumbly vocals and feeble beats; resulting in songs that just drift off into sprawling, boring nothingness. Tennis System ain’t tryin’ to roll like that. The Los Angeles based band takes the genre and blows it up, expanding on the customary wall of guitars with gorgeous vocals and a proper beat. It creates loud, structured-yet-psychedelic dream-pop compositions that sound like the ringing reverb of My Bloody Valentine mixed with thumping, Evol-era Sonic Youth. Watch for its sophomore release, Teenagers, due out this fall.

A Prediction: This show will be criminally underpopulated. Did we mention that the band members are floppy-haired and adorable? Just sayin’.