Tag Archive | Hillary Clinton

If the 2016 Presidential Candidates Were Musicians …

Screen grab of Donald Trump on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (plus doodles)

Screen grab of Donald Trump on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (plus doodles)

If the 2016 Presidential Candidates Were Musicians …
Posted By Jaime Lees
Mon, Mar 21, 2016 at 6:30 am

Are you as wrapped up in this presidential race as we are, or what? Have you been watching the debates? And do these candidates remind you of anybody? Because certain personality traits exhibited by our presidential candidates keep reminding us of some of the more famous acts in pop culture musical history.

Politics and music have long been entwined, but it’s still kind of a curse to see everything in the world through a musical filter. Sometimes you just want to watch a candidate give a speech but you can’t help but imagine them standing behind the podium with stage blood pouring from their mouths, scolding brutes in a mosh pit or asking Pat Smear to bring them a bottle of water.

Check out our thoughts below on this phenomenon below. We think we’re onto something here.

If our presidential candidates were musicians ….
Donald Trump would be Gene Simmons of Kiss.
Both Trump and Simmons are misogynistic megalomaniacs who are extremely obsessed with wealth. And though they might be certifiable narcissists, they both have a knack for capturing attention in a way that feeds their ultimate goals. They’re both natural entertainers who back their boastfulness with their exemplary branding techniques and willingness to stamp their (Americanized) names onto anything and sell it. They also say vaguely racist things without fully committing to open hatred. And though the public thought Simmons took it all to the farthest possible limit when started selling KISS Kaskets, Trump has outdone him by moving from real estate to a Presidential campaign. They’re both reality television stars, they’re both married to foreign-born models, they both have ridiculous hair, they both never shut the hell up, they both have tiny “hands” and they’re both The Demon.

If our presidential candidates were musicians …
Hillary Clinton would be Dave Grohl of Foo Fighters.
Clinton and Grohl are very good at their jobs and they both have found great success in their respective fields through decades of hard work. They’re also such professionals that most doubts about them and their intentions are easily brushed aside — both Clinton and Grohl are just so damn smooth that we can’t help but respect their hustle. And though neither of them might be your first choice as our official ultimate representative (of the U.S.A. or rock and roll), they surely don’t bungle their jobs as badly as many of their peers. Their careers have even followed similar trajectories, from undeniable street cred (Clinton’s activism during her college years / Grohl’s days in Scream) to the times in the ’90s when they both literally stood behind handsome blue-eyed men who ultimately let them down (Bill Clinton / Kurt Cobain). Now they’ve moved to the foreground and are striking out on their own. In their own ways, both Clinton and Grohl have clearly been aiming to take over the world for years — Clinton is just a little more transparent about her goals.

If our presidential candidates were musicians …
Bernie Sanders would be Ian MacKaye of Fugazi.
Both are respected long-standing figures in the underground D.C. scene. Both have been in the public eye since the early 1980s, MacKaye with Minor Threat and Sanders as a mayor in Vermont. Both have built careers on being politically active and both choose caffeine as their main drug. Both use their microphones to demand change, promote women’s rights and speak up on behalf of the poor. Both are seen as unwavering and adorably idealistic. Neither are interested in corporate sponsorship and neither would never make you pay more than a nominal cover charge for their events. Both MacKaye and Sanders have clashed with cops over righteous causes, and they both also jam econo— Sanders takes the train and MacKaye has been rocking that hat for ages. And just like MacKaye, Sanders has been saying the exact same things over and over for the last 35 years.

If our presidential candidates were musicians …
Ted Cruz would be Alanis Morissette.
Aside from having very punchable faces, at first glance it would seem that Ted Cruz and Alanis Morissette don’t have much in common. But: They do! First of all, both were born in Canada. And though we have no confirmation that he also goes down on people in theaters, there is a disturbing amount of fan-penned Ted Cruz erotica out there. (Yes, just one instance is enough to be considered disturbing. O’Canada!) They were both minor stars before their current careers: Morissette was a regular on the teeny-bopper singing circuit, and before he got into politics Cruz played the grandpa on The Munsters. (Kidding, kidding.) But seriously, we’d bet that like Morissette, Cruz might have one hand in his pocket and that he also doesn’t understand the definition of the word “ironic.”

If our presidential candidates were musicians …
John Kasich would be the guy in Wham! who was not George Michael.
Because, seriously, who the fuck are both of these guys?

If our presidential candidates were musicians …
those people listed on your Democratic primary ballot that you’ve never heard of before?
Those are various members of the Polyphonic Spree, of course.

What do you think? Do you think our comparisons are appropriate? Some of these were hard to pin down. For example, Trump could’ve just as easily been Kanye West because of his epic tantrums and Twitter freak-outs. (Which would make Megyn Kelly into Taylor Swift.) John Kasich is a bit of a Kelly Rowland. And the Clintons could totally be the political version of Beyoncé and Jay Z. And his new role as the voice of the people might make Bernie Sanders the presidential version of Kendrick Lamar.

But what about other famous politicians? Is President Obama a Paul McCartney? And Sarah Palin is totally as incoherent as Axl Rose, right? So many difficult trivial decisions to make and unimportant details to obsess about over here. Send us your feedback and help us out in the comments section.

(Note: This story was already completed before the world figured out last week that Ted Cruz might or might not actually be Michael Sweet from Stryper. Our sincere apologies to Alanis Morissette.)

Thanks for the much-needed levity, Internets.

Thanks for the much-needed levity, Internets.

link: Riverfront Times

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Henry Rollins – interview outtakes

-INTERVIEW HERE

Interview Outtakes: Henry Rollins Talks Politics
Thu Oct 30, 2008 at 03:09:04 PM

Jaime Lees: I was wondering how it’s all been changing since you started [the tour] with the election getting closer? Because it’s mostly political, this tour, right?
Henry Rollins: In a way, it all is [political], in that if you’re kind of alive and living in the world at this point. But I don’t go and opine about George W. Bush all night. You have your opinion of him by now, after seven years and some months, and you don’t need me to tell you what you know, or what you think or need to think.
You’re a big person now and you can draw your own conclusions. But this election has been interesting in a lot of ways. For all of the obvious ones: the first time a woman has gotten this far with Hillary, and having an African-American, Barack, it’s made it very interesting. The debates, those things are never all that much to write home about. It’s been interesting watching kind of the body language and mannerisms of McCain. That’s been interesting for me.

Oh, especially that last time.
Yeah, I don’t think he came off all that well just on a human level. Where Barack, who I thought was going to be kind of a letdown in the debates, has surprised me by being way better and more together than I thought he was going to be. I thought he was going to be a big more stammering, but I think he really presented himself very well. I also think that people are kind of freaking out on Sarah Palin. She is really… [laughs]… she is somethin’ else.

That’s a nice way to put it.
Yeah, I’m trying to be generous. I don’t know much about her mayorial [terms] or careers as governor, but apparently she left Wasilla fairly bankrupt, and I have no idea what will be as far as this thing will go. Weeks and weeks ago I thought it was going to be McCain, and now I’m not so sure.

That’s the same thing I was feeling.
Yeah, I mean, I thought McCain was going to ratchet up the fear, which he tries to do. And I thought Barack was not going to be able to bring what he’s been bringing to the whole thing. And he’s surprised me, and I think the Wall Street thing was kind of a perfect storm moment for Barack.

Oh, totally.
It’s a bad situation, but it’s kind of looking better if you’re a Democrat in all of that because no matter what McCain says or who he tries to assign blame to, the Republicans and conservatives have a lot to answer for with the deregulation that brought us to that place. Of course there’s always people who will tell you that it’s the New Deal that brought us all to all of this, so that’s always going to be contested.

Do you feel like the audience is changing as the election is getting closer? Are you feeling different vibes off of them?
I’m not getting much of a feeling from the audience, though they’re showing up in wonderful numbers. It’s post-show when I talk to people outside you hear the concern. You know, how a lot of that stuff is really resonating with them. And a lot of people will be voting. I think at least one of the upsides of the Bush administration has perhaps polarized a lot of people in America, or perhaps polarized America, but it has gotten a lot of young people kind of off their asses to vote, which I think is a great thing.

I’ve never seen that happen in my time until now.
Yeah, and it took this. Well, since all of this is in the past now, as far as the two Bush terms. And we can’t undo it, it is nice to look for some good parts of it. And I think it got a lot of young people to realize [that] this is their country, this is their planet, this is their time and they really gotta weigh in. They can’t sleep on this. And that’s not bad, I’ll take that. ‘Cause there’s so much awful stuff to catalog the last several years and the more you look, actually, the more bad stuff there is to note. Like, a lot of non-congressional appointments that a president is allowed to make. When you see who is in some of these positions, it’s enough to make you howl.

No lie. I’m just now getting to where I feel like I understand the hippies a little better. Like, I’m starting to get what was happening in the 60s. I’m starting to feel it, with everyone talking about it all the time.
Yeah, absolutely. You see, uh, a lot of similarities in the protests and the rhetoric from both sides when you hear people talk about the invasion and occupation of Iraq. When you hear your Pat Buchanans and your Bret Humes and all of these conservatives, the rhetoric is the same. And there was so many people questioning and protesting the Vietnam War, you know, very vigorously [there were] a lot of cracked heads, you know, and you’re seeing the same kind of things being said now. You know, where presidents are getting the hard eye from the proletariat, and it’s interesting to see the same thing happening now. None of this is new. It goes in cycles, and at the end of the day people are people, you know, they protest and it’s interesting to be an American and have at least the Vietnam War as some perspective, and you know, hated presidents, like Nixon, to kind of run similarities between.

Yeah, no one can shut up about it and it feels good.
Yeah. You know, without a doubt, that you’re in the middle of something extremely important. You are part of it, you’re going to make a difference. I don’t think about how it will be judged later ’cause I’m too busy being in the present. But we are really cursed with interesting times at this moment.

When you’re reading all this news do you read something and think “Oh, I can’t wait to talk about that tonight”?
Sure! Yeah, there was some interesting moments in those [presidential] debates [that made me] so happy I had a gig that night. Or there was a night off during the vice presidential debates and I was in a gym on a treadmill listening to the debate with great interest. And I was making notes in my head the whole time I was listening and when it was over, I was like “Oh, I can’t wait for tomorrow.”