Tag Archive | Axl Rose

Douche Lord Axl Rose Dares to Return to St. Louis with Guns N’ Roses

Axl Rose mugshot art

Axl Rose mugshot art

Douche Lord Axl Rose Dares to Return to St. Louis with Guns N’ Roses
Posted By Jaime Lees
Mon, Mar 28, 2016 at 11:04 am

It was 25 years ago this summer that Axl Rose sparked the infamous “Riverport Riot” and just a few days ago Guns N’ Roses announced that it will return to St. Louis for the first time since the incident. (Location and date of concert still unknown.)

The Riot story goes like this: On July 2, 1991, Guns N’ Roses came to St. Louis to play one of the first shows at a brand new outdoor shed venue called Riverport. (Now known as Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre.) During the show, Rose spotted a fan up front taking photos, he then flipped his shit and jumped into the crowd in an attempt to wail on the offender, a motorcycle enthusiast named Stump. After being caught on the big screen going berserk on his fans and lashing out at security, Rose was pulled out of the mayhem, said “Well, thanks for the lame-ass security, I’m going home” into the microphone, and then threw the mic down and exited the stage. The rest of the band followed.

The fans in attendance weren’t about to tolerate Rose’s antics (or the show being cut short) and they promptly rioted: ripping up the seats, lighting small fires, starting fights, tearing down signage and generally trashing the joint. The band fled the Riverport area and were driven across state lines into Illinois to avoid arrest.

Rose’s bratty behavior was already well-documented by this point. His fragile ego always came across as insecurity wrapped in peacocking machismo, but on this night he seemed extra volatile. Dude was wearing Mormon underwear and a hideous gorilla jacket that would make even Dian Fossey cover her eyes but he still decided that he was going to jump into the audience and try to be the alpha male.

Because his aggro, immature outbursts were commonplace, this particular tantrum couldn’t have been entirely unexpected, but the reaction of the crowd was immediately beyond the capabilities of Riverport security. The police called in every available officer and the rioting crowd was mercilessly escorted to the exits. The riot resulted in sixteen arrests, 60 injuries and a reported $200,000 in damage to the amphitheatre.

Click over to the Missouri state database, CaseNet, to see all twenty court cases eventually filed against Rose that stemmed from the incident, most of which were personal injury claims. (Search FIRST NAME: W – MIDDLE NAME: Axl – LAST NAME: Rose)

It took a year for Rose to finally be arrested on an outstanding warrant when he landed back in New York after a European tour. He was released on $100,000 bail but soon faced a St. Louis judge on multiple accusations of assault and a property damage charge. In the end Rose was sentenced to two years of probation and ordered to pay $50,000 to St. Louis-area charities.

But before he even went to trial in St. Louis, Rose had already declared his own personal war on the city. His vendetta was long-running, too. Guns N’ Roses’ Use Your Illusion I & Use Your Illusion II were released a few months after the incident and included “FUCK YOU, ST. LOUIS!” in the liner notes. Rose was also seen on stage wearing a “ST. LOUIS SUCKS” t-shirt and he trashed the city at every opportunity. (Riverport is technically located outside of St. Louis in Maryland Heights, but a shirt that reads “MARYLAND HEIGHTS, MO SUCKS” wouldn’t have been nearly as flashy.) He also wore a St. Louis Cardinals hat for approximately one second in the “Don’t Cry” video. (At the 1:11 mark.) He must’ve wanted us to know that he was thinking of us because it’s not like he wore hats and bandanas in an attempt to hide his thinning hairline or anything. Nope, not at all.

Liner notes from Use Your Illusion I, screen capture from Don't Cry, two live video screengrabs in "St. Louis Sucks" shirt

Liner notes from Use Your Illusion I, screen capture from Don’t Cry, two live video screengrabs in “St. Louis Sucks” shirt

Maybe Rose has since softened his stance on St. Louis after working with our native son, wizard guitarist Richard Fortus. Fortus became a member of GNR in 2001 and has decades of high-level professional experience under his studded belt. (He founded Love Spit Love and played with Thin Lizzy, to say the least.) He’s smart and talented and any city would be proud to have him as its ambassador. Fortus recently gave an interview where he explained that he missed the 1991 riot entirely. On the night of the riot, he said, he was playing across town at Kennedy’s. (For local rock fans of a certain age, this statement will read as pure, undeniable St. Louis street cred.)

So where and when will this new Guns N’ Roses concert happen? We have no official information on that yet, but we’re guessing that they’re implying that the show will happen sometime this summer. But making plans is not GNR’s strongest trait— you know how it went down with Chinese Democracy. And assuming that “Riverport” still has a ban on Rose (and doesn’t want a reenactment of 1991 on its hands), GNR would have to find another large venue to play.

When discussing this dilemma with a friend, he offered what appears to be a very reasonable venue prediction for the upcoming event. Keep in mind this is entirely conjecture, but he pointed out that current Cardinals owner Bill DeWitt recently mentioned on a podcast that in addition to welcoming the much anticipated NHL Winter Classic hockey game, that he was also planning on hosting an upcoming concert at Busch Stadium downtown.

In the last few minutes of The Ryan Kelly Morning After podcast Episode 37 (titled “Segment 1 – Show Open 03/10/16”), DeWitt says, “We’ve had a couple of false starts on concerts, so I don’t want to jinx it, so I’ll leave it at that. But we’re trying to get one good one this summer and then one or two big ones next summer.”

Could it be Guns N’ Roses? Absolutely. Not many other major touring bands could hope to even partially fill a venue that holds more than 46,000 attendees. Furthermore, if this show is at Busch it would almost surely have to take place during the All Star break between July 8 and July 12. This location might also be good insurance against another riot— most St. Louisans would think twice before damaging the Cardinals’ nest.

What’s a St. Louis rock fan to do? We have ambivalent feelings about Guns N’ Roses. We remember what happened on that hot summer night long ago, but years of prolonged exposure to KSHE has weakened our resolve. We, as a city, have always liked to party, but we still have very little tolerance for ego trip bullshit.

So to Axl we say this: Remember what happened the last time you tried to act a fool here? We don’t play that mess so don’t even try it again. We’re primed and ready. If you try to step to us on our own territory we’ll turn on you even faster than last time. Behave yourself because we promise you that this, sir, is the jungle.

Hey Axl, we made you a new t-shirt

Hey Axl, we made you a new t-shirt


Missed the action? Check out a short two-part documentary on the Riverport Riot below. It includes an interview with Mr. Stump and a hilarious “only in St. Louis” story about Izzy Stradlin’s lost amplifier from witness Sebastian Bach of Skid Row.



link: Riverfront Times

If the 2016 Presidential Candidates Were Musicians …

Screen grab of Donald Trump on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (plus doodles)

Screen grab of Donald Trump on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (plus doodles)

If the 2016 Presidential Candidates Were Musicians …
Posted By Jaime Lees
Mon, Mar 21, 2016 at 6:30 am

Are you as wrapped up in this presidential race as we are, or what? Have you been watching the debates? And do these candidates remind you of anybody? Because certain personality traits exhibited by our presidential candidates keep reminding us of some of the more famous acts in pop culture musical history.

Politics and music have long been entwined, but it’s still kind of a curse to see everything in the world through a musical filter. Sometimes you just want to watch a candidate give a speech but you can’t help but imagine them standing behind the podium with stage blood pouring from their mouths, scolding brutes in a mosh pit or asking Pat Smear to bring them a bottle of water.

Check out our thoughts below on this phenomenon below. We think we’re onto something here.

If our presidential candidates were musicians ….
Donald Trump would be Gene Simmons of Kiss.
Both Trump and Simmons are misogynistic megalomaniacs who are extremely obsessed with wealth. And though they might be certifiable narcissists, they both have a knack for capturing attention in a way that feeds their ultimate goals. They’re both natural entertainers who back their boastfulness with their exemplary branding techniques and willingness to stamp their (Americanized) names onto anything and sell it. They also say vaguely racist things without fully committing to open hatred. And though the public thought Simmons took it all to the farthest possible limit when started selling KISS Kaskets, Trump has outdone him by moving from real estate to a Presidential campaign. They’re both reality television stars, they’re both married to foreign-born models, they both have ridiculous hair, they both never shut the hell up, they both have tiny “hands” and they’re both The Demon.

If our presidential candidates were musicians …
Hillary Clinton would be Dave Grohl of Foo Fighters.
Clinton and Grohl are very good at their jobs and they both have found great success in their respective fields through decades of hard work. They’re also such professionals that most doubts about them and their intentions are easily brushed aside — both Clinton and Grohl are just so damn smooth that we can’t help but respect their hustle. And though neither of them might be your first choice as our official ultimate representative (of the U.S.A. or rock and roll), they surely don’t bungle their jobs as badly as many of their peers. Their careers have even followed similar trajectories, from undeniable street cred (Clinton’s activism during her college years / Grohl’s days in Scream) to the times in the ’90s when they both literally stood behind handsome blue-eyed men who ultimately let them down (Bill Clinton / Kurt Cobain). Now they’ve moved to the foreground and are striking out on their own. In their own ways, both Clinton and Grohl have clearly been aiming to take over the world for years — Clinton is just a little more transparent about her goals.

If our presidential candidates were musicians …
Bernie Sanders would be Ian MacKaye of Fugazi.
Both are respected long-standing figures in the underground D.C. scene. Both have been in the public eye since the early 1980s, MacKaye with Minor Threat and Sanders as a mayor in Vermont. Both have built careers on being politically active and both choose caffeine as their main drug. Both use their microphones to demand change, promote women’s rights and speak up on behalf of the poor. Both are seen as unwavering and adorably idealistic. Neither are interested in corporate sponsorship and neither would never make you pay more than a nominal cover charge for their events. Both MacKaye and Sanders have clashed with cops over righteous causes, and they both also jam econo— Sanders takes the train and MacKaye has been rocking that hat for ages. And just like MacKaye, Sanders has been saying the exact same things over and over for the last 35 years.

If our presidential candidates were musicians …
Ted Cruz would be Alanis Morissette.
Aside from having very punchable faces, at first glance it would seem that Ted Cruz and Alanis Morissette don’t have much in common. But: They do! First of all, both were born in Canada. And though we have no confirmation that he also goes down on people in theaters, there is a disturbing amount of fan-penned Ted Cruz erotica out there. (Yes, just one instance is enough to be considered disturbing. O’Canada!) They were both minor stars before their current careers: Morissette was a regular on the teeny-bopper singing circuit, and before he got into politics Cruz played the grandpa on The Munsters. (Kidding, kidding.) But seriously, we’d bet that like Morissette, Cruz might have one hand in his pocket and that he also doesn’t understand the definition of the word “ironic.”

If our presidential candidates were musicians …
John Kasich would be the guy in Wham! who was not George Michael.
Because, seriously, who the fuck are both of these guys?

If our presidential candidates were musicians …
those people listed on your Democratic primary ballot that you’ve never heard of before?
Those are various members of the Polyphonic Spree, of course.

What do you think? Do you think our comparisons are appropriate? Some of these were hard to pin down. For example, Trump could’ve just as easily been Kanye West because of his epic tantrums and Twitter freak-outs. (Which would make Megyn Kelly into Taylor Swift.) John Kasich is a bit of a Kelly Rowland. And the Clintons could totally be the political version of Beyoncé and Jay Z. And his new role as the voice of the people might make Bernie Sanders the presidential version of Kendrick Lamar.

But what about other famous politicians? Is President Obama a Paul McCartney? And Sarah Palin is totally as incoherent as Axl Rose, right? So many difficult trivial decisions to make and unimportant details to obsess about over here. Send us your feedback and help us out in the comments section.

(Note: This story was already completed before the world figured out last week that Ted Cruz might or might not actually be Michael Sweet from Stryper. Our sincere apologies to Alanis Morissette.)

Thanks for the much-needed levity, Internets.

Thanks for the much-needed levity, Internets.

link: Riverfront Times