Murphy Lee, 2011 STL Twitter Champ: His Twenty Best Tweets

Murphy Lee, 2011 STL Twitter Champ: His Twenty Best Tweets
By Jaime Lees Wed., Dec. 14 2011
It used to be something that I just did while trapped in my car. Waiting to pick up a friend at the airport? Check Murphy Lee’s Twitter account. Sitting in stopped traffic on the highway? Check Murphy Lee’s Twitter account. Pull up to the crib and see a creeper hanging outside and need to waste some time? Check Murphy Lee’s Twitter account.

But now I do it all the time. And I show it to everybody else. Why? Because I love him. And because Murphy Lee’s Twitter feed can be all things to all people. It offers funny stories, sage advice, cathartic rants and inspiring suggestions. Here, thug stories are mixed with non-preachy praises of veganism. (Murph has been a vegan for thirteen years.) There are also family stories and lots of advice concerning the ladies in his life. It’s equal parts love, wisdom and yo momma.
Still, Murph is a businessman. He also uses twitter to promote his projects (most recently, the Wine, Weed & Women mixtape) and advertise his interests (like his own brand of wine, Freaky Muscato.) He even has his own Twitter catch phrases based off of his ventures. (UCME?)

As a long-time St. Lunatic and St. Louis booster, Murphy Lee often tweets about the city and related news. His Twitter location reads: “STL even when im gone.” And his stream-of-consciousness style and adventurous spelling choices call to mind another St. Louis legend: William S. Burroughs. In other words, don’t take every word too literally. Sometimes if you just keep reading it will all start to make sense.

(Murph Derrty likes Spin Doctors?)

Anyway, because he’s on there so much, I figured I’d use Twitter as the first step to our future romantic relationship. So I tweeted at him early this year, trying to get him to come to my birthday party. I even promised him yummy vegan noms, but I didn’t get a response. Bummer. Still, my constant stalking has paid off for you, because I’ve amassed quite the collection of hilarious and informative Murphy Lee Twitter missives. Here, you can find 20 of my favorites from the past year, and most of them are fairly recent. You’re going to love him, but I still love him more.

  • Yo if a mufucka got a job at sprint n used to work at at&t …u would say congrats….dont get mad at PUJOLS for gettin a new n better job [link]
  • Niggas wont change til THE QUEENS stop excepting less. if u EXCEPT a man wit brains ONLY then das wut u get. WE DO WUTEVER FOR DA PUSSY [link]
  • Fam been doin good in school..need to reward their errythang n spend time all at once…..i loves mine [link]
  • U should treat folks like u like to b treated…its only right holmes [link]
  • Wen somebody love yo derrty fuckin draws…u better wake up..cuz aint nobody else gone wash dem shits [link]
  • #FunFactAboutMe i like errythang…a lil bit…take me anywwerrr [link]
  • #ConfusingThingsGirlsDo like hang wit girls dey dont like [link]
  • Wus on yall agenda today my fellow humans…hope its inspirational n motivational n cool [link]
  • I told my son he getting big n dis boy say…I KNOW…I SEEN MY SHADOW…IT GOT BIGGER [link]
  • #YouWasSexyUntil u farted n lied n said it wasnt u..”its only two of us…farting is cool but lying isnt [link]
  • I cant stand wen people want u to sign somtn but b impatient while u reading…..signing your name is a life long sentence muthafucka [link]
  • Women should study men more to kno wut we b on. its sex but its a lil more to us den jus gettin some. we like our ego stroked n our johnsons [link]
  • So da hardest jobs make da most money….entertainers..lawyers doctors strippers etc [link]
  • #NeverTrustAGirlThat walk on da back of her shoes….wut dey dont fit orsome shit…put dem bad shoes on cuz yo heel worst den da shoes [link]
  • #YouShouldNot trust bizness folks wit bad shoes…shoes tell u werr a human at in life [link]
  • If u get locked up for murder…get a lawyer n let him talk….we dont need to b talkn to dese people [link]
  • Aye do yo momma still got dat koolaid stand in front of kmart on new hallsferry n linbergh…shit was fire…dat red [link]
  • So did i jus fart at least 50 times or wus it only jus a dream……damn is it gone stop…wut da fuck i eat…. [link]
  • I wish i was u. …sike [link]
  • #midnightsnack PUSSY [link]